Guilty conscious

This past Wednesday was Ash Wednesday. And being the good Catholic girl that I am, I went to receive the ashes for lent. I contemplated not going, but this extreme guilt came over me. Ok, so I'm not really a good Catholic, I don't go to church, I don't pray on a regular basis, but I am a good girl, so I figure that's gotta count for something!
But growing up my family did go to church every Sunday. When I was about 6 or 7, my mom used to work on the weekends so every Sunday at noon, I went to Spanish mass with my grandma and tia. To this day, I cannot follow along a mass in English, it has to be in Spanish so I can remember all of the proper responses.
I remember sitting in the pew, wearing a pretty dress and following along with all the sitting and standing. My favorite part was when we got to shake hands with the people around us. Oh, and then there was the pan dulce afterwards. At about 1pm, everyone would congregate outside of the church or downstairs, where they had coffee and bread.

Now, I hardly ever go to church. I am still a believer, just not a do-er. And then there's the guilt. Oh, does it ever go away?!?

Writer's block?

I think I have had writer's block for the past couple of weeks. And not just for my blog, for school too! I have a big paper due at the end of the month that I have been putting off. My excuse is that I don't like the class, but the paper topic is something I really am interested in. So why can't I write? I've been contemplating this question and came to the conclusion that I am scared. Yes, scared of forming ideas and writing them down on paper. Scared of possibly making a mistake or having something not make sense. Fear that I might suck. And this fear has apparently translated to my blog.

But I am slowly getting over it. I better get over it quick, I don't have a choice! I need to have confidence in what I write and realize that in no way does it need to be perfect the first time I write it down. So I'm starting with this blog, hoping that my juices will start flowing and this will get me writing! More posts to follow!